A chance meeting
by bhut
Summary: Assajj attempts to give Ahsoka "The Talk". That doesn't go very well.


**A chance meeting**

_Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to Lucasfilm™._

_Note: This story contains some crude language._

And so, once on a blue moon, when Padme Amidala got Anakin Skywalker all to herself, Ahsoka Tano and Obi-Wan Kenobi had to execute a low-level mission all by themselves: to deliver a small file's worth of documents from the Republican Senate to the Jedi Temple - easy.

Sadly, Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't do 'easy' very easily, and so what began a very straightforward mission quickly developed into a side trek to one of Obi-Wan's fact-receiving missions in one of Coruscant's seedier joints, and since Ahsoka was underage, she was to remain outside and keep watch, while Obi-Wan was to go in receive his latest info. That's when it all went wrong:

"Boo!"

"Eeep!" Ahsoka almost jumped onto the nearest rooftop, before she remembered that she was all but a Jedi knight and thus she should be more dignified. Sadly, the next moment she realized that it was also impossible to sneak up on a Jedi knight, unless-

"That was fun! Can we do it again?" Assajj Ventress grinned in that creepy way of hers. "What are you doing here, Jedi runt? Plan to prove to your peers that you're a big girl by sneaking into the club? That's going to be even more fun! I'm going to watch!" Assajj backed down and sat once more on her bench, clearly intending on enjoying her show.

Ahsoka took a deep breath, noticed that the building's sign pronounced this to be the 'Blue Cat Club' and glared – unimpressively – at the older female. "What are you doing here, anyways?" she asked, when it became obvious that the latter wasn't going to make any moves first.

"Oh, count Dooku is having a meeting there with the Big Boss, Darth Sidious," Assajj said, somewhat crossly. "You?"

Ahsoka gulped. "Master Kenobi went there to receive information update," she said in an uncertain voice. "Maybe I should go and see if he needs back-up..."

"Good luck," Assajj nodded without making a move to stop Ahsoka. "Prepare to be educated as to why the Jedi policy of repressing their natural urges is flawed and will be their eventual downfall."

"Oh? And the Sith don't repress them?" Ahsoka asked, somewhat archly.

"Well yes, they do," Assajj admitted, grudgingly, before brightening once more. "But that's because they're ex-Jedi and still have fully embraced their former Jedi training. Plus they're men, of course, and thus are an inferior gender!"

"Hey! Master Skywalker's a man and is by no means inferior!" Ahsoka felt the desperate need to defend her master.

"Of course he's not," Assajj nodded, thoughtfully. "I'm thinking that he's got a bit on the side of some kind that gives him some, you know?"

"Well, don't look at me – hey, what are you talking about?" Ahsoka said, feeling as if she was punched in the gut. Master Skywalker, having some-

"I'm not," Assajj's grin indicated that she had scored a hit once more and she was aware of that too. "You probably still think that babies are delivered to their parents by specially programmed R2 droids, don't you?"

"I do not! There are special classes in the Temple for just that sort of thing!" Ahsoka yelled, turning almost violet from embarrassment. "Seriously!"

"Oh really?" Assajj patted the bench next to her. "Sit down and share your wisdom with me, then. I could use a good laugh – again."

Something snapped in Ahsoka: just who did Assajj think she was? The Togruta Padawan smoothly pulled out her lightsaber and struck a mighty blow, cleaving Assajj's bench in two.

Sadly, Assajj herself was no longer on it, but rather standing next to Ahsoka, holding one of her own lightsabers next to Ahsoka's chin.

"Now that was just stupid," Assajj hissed, her voice silky with menace. "Did you really think that you can catch me unawares so easily? What should I do to you for that presumption, now?"

Ahsoka would've gulped, if she dared, but with Assajj's blade hovering so close to her throat she didn't dare not even to gulp or to plead. (Assajj did have her at her mercy right now.)

Suddenly, some sort of a loud noise came from within the club. Extinguishing her lightsaber, Assajj released Ahsoka and jumped into shadows – so did Ahsoka, albeit into a different set from Assajj. The next moment the doors were flung open, and out burst Obi-Wan Kenobi, dressed in the most ridiculous get-up either woman had ever seen him in.

Kenobi was running for his life, and he was closely pursued by a very exciting Dooku, who was yelling for Kenobi to "stop and be a star in my yaoi dream!" Within moments the mismatched pair vanished from the sight.

For several moments more both Assajj and Ahsoka just stared at each other, neither trusting her tongue to speak. Ahsoka, eventually, spoke first.

"I, uh, got to go – I still need to make a delivery to the Jedi Temple."

"Yes, I know where it is, everybody who ever stayed on Coruscant for any period of time knows where it is," Assajj shrugged. "Now if you excuse me, I need to go and smooth the waters with Darth Sidious." She turned away from Ahsoka and walked into the club. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Ahsoka said quietly. The Dark Jedi had not just outmanoeuvred her way too easily, but also discarded her as too inconsequential, and that stung even worse. For a moment Ahsoka was almost tempted to follow Assajj into the club and see if she could show-up the older female, but then she remembered that she still had to deliver documents and discover what has happened to master Kenobi so she turned around and went to the Jedi Temple to make her delivery.

End

PS: Obi-Wan Kenobi arrived at the Jedi Temple several hours later after Ahsoka had made the delivery. He refused to talk what has happened to him in the club, not even to Anakin and Padme, despite their best attempts at interrogation.


End file.
